Dauphin Island, Alabama

I can totally recommend a beach for families with a member that has special needs. There are many factors I will list here as to why:
1. Not crowded
2. Clean beaches
3. Gentle waves
4. Friendly people
5. Family Friendly
6. Not a party destination
7. Not expensive
8. Not a super long drive from anywhere in the Mid West
9. Diverse activities available on the island for many family members including: Fishing (from pier, wade fishing and Deep Sea excursions departing from the island), Jet Ski rentals, Parasailing, Estuarium, historic Fort Gaines and a Bird Sanctuary.
10. Chicken Strips are available at the Chevron Grill (the gas station has a nice little store).

We were here during the week, so we can't say anything from experience about the crowds on the weekend.
This was the longest vacation we have taken with Teddy and as you can see in the photo, he really loved it and wants to go back! A big win in our world and we made some great memories.

Traveling with Special needs

I totally recommend visiting the USS Alabama (Battleship Memorial Park) in Mobile, Alabama. We visited the gulf last week and this was definitely one of the highlights. The first thing that strikes you is the size of the battleship. The tours on the ship are self guided and as soon as we went below decks there was a distinct smell, a bit like the smell of aircraft, but unique...I am guessing unique to WWII Navy ships and maybe even ships today; a bit musty, electrical and historical all together. I know this is one of my Grandpa Murphy's favorite places probably because he served in the Navy during WWII on the USS Sampson ( Destroyer DD-394) and the USS Milledgeville (Frigate PF-94). I thought that he would surely recognize the smell of the ship and I thought of him when I saw the motion picture locker since one of his duties in the Navy was showing films on board in addition to radio operations and various repairs of electronic equipment. All of this reminds me I should call him, he just turned 86 on Monday...
Anyway, in addition to the Alabama they have a hangar of historic aircraft that I found interesting and they have a B-52 and B-25 on the grounds....and I almost forgot...they have a submarine too the USS Drum, but as you can see from the picture Teddy was a bit in the red zone on this morning due to the heat and a seizure that afternoon we didn't know was coming. But, we managed the park and would love to go back.In fact, the only reason we went to Alabama this year was because Teddy liked to say Alabama and decided that it was his favorite state...so since he was motivated to visit, we used this to take the longest vacation since he was born and it all worked out pretty well. Teddy insisted that we both buy USS Alabama ball caps and we both wear them all the time now! The key in our world and every special parent and special kid's situation is unique, but in our circumstance, the key is traveling alone, just the three of us...this provides us with maximum flexibility and doesn't disappoint anyone besides us when we have to change plans quickly...such as leaving the battleship park a bit early, stopping what we were doing after his seizure on the beach later that day so he could take a nap and recover and finally, he became homesick and we went home a day early...these are hard things to do if you are with other people, but this is our world and we made the best of it for sure. We were really happy that we went on this trip...more on this trip soon!

Bob's Country Cafe in St. James, MO

I can totally recommend Country Bob's Cafe in St. James, Missouri for anyone looking for a classic, Midwest dining experience. The special on Fridays is catfish and as you can see for $7.99 the portions were large! For a buck more you get two filets...for 2 bucks more--unlimited!!! Teddy was happy with the chicken strips and he ate my hush puppies. I also recommend pie for dessert. They are homemade, none of that canned stuff that Frankie Dunn hates and yes, if he does make another trip to Missouri, they do have his favorite here - Lemon Meringue! I had the Coconut Cream (Just like on Gilligan's Island), in sticking with the Gilligan theme Sue had the Banana Cream and Ted enjoyed a huge piece of Chocolate pie. Teddy was also happy that they had fans. The prices were reasonable, the service was fast, friendly and our waitress seemed to come right out the Boar's Nest. So, next time you are crossing Missouri on I-44 (old 66) go north about 1 mile at the St. James exit to Country Bob's...not Bob's Country Bunker...that's another place. You won't be disappointed! We often drive thru St. James, so I am looking forward to trying their other dishes.

Slingers in House Springs, MO

 Slingers in downtown House Springs, MO is a classic Midwest diner that serves a solid breakfast. Also, we have found it to be a very good place for special parents to dine with their children.  We have the tradition now of eating here the first weekend morning after school is out for the year. The only downside of Slingers is the smoke, but the rest of the place and the food make it worth the old school smokey atmosphere. I had the bacon, eggs and hash browns, which I highly recommend.

 Teddy had a serving of bacon and a stack of delicious pancakes. He was also happy that diner has plenty of ceiling fans!

Teddy loves sitting at the counter and Slingers has a long counter with plenty of stools. We are hoping to hit Slingers one more time before summer break is over! One more thing: as the name implies, yes you can order a slinger here or in fact several slingers if you are really hungry!

Bob's Drive In in Imperial, MO is one of our favorite places to enjoy classic American dining and an excellent restaurant for special parents to bring their kids. This is a classic drive in with classic American food. We often bring our exchange students from Germany here to see  and experience American Midwest culture and food. The restaurant was opened in 1959 and recently was renovated. The restaurant is only a few miles from our home. Teddy always has the chicken strips and then a vanilla shake for dessert. Sue and I usually have a cheeseburger (in my case a double cheese) and a side of fried Okra. If you are traveling I-55 get off on the Richardson/Vogel exit and drive 5 more minutes further off the highway and you can enjoy an American classic experience and get away from the normal interstate exit restaurants. Yesterday morning Teddy was pretty excited--two of his favorite things: Mowing the lawn then going to Bob's for lunch. We always eat outside on the tables and Teddy especially likes the ceiling fans they have under the little shelter. Also, I recommend the corn dogs and the ice cream is every bit as good as Ted Drewes without the hassle of the large crowds. Many of my students work or have worked here and I often see people I know when dining here.

The Wrong Stuff by Truman Smith

This review was originally published on my history blog, but the entry also might be of interest to Special Dads as well:

I began this book once again reluctantly...I had made a nice "friend"  or something of a companion when reading my last book in Siegfried Knappe....my "book friends" are important to me...generally they are going through some type of epic struggle, generally in war...something very different than my epic struggle: raising my son as best I can, helping him navigate the world and keep him healthy. The struggles of others are a great diversion for me from my own worries and in that sense, history is a great comfort to me. I have tried to read about other special parents and what they deal with, but it strikes to close to home generally and only compounds my worries. So, luckily, I found a new diversion in the Wrong Stuff, learned more about the bombers in WWII, which will eventually help me and give me more depth when I write my book about the Hetzler Crew. Also, I did find a new book friend in Truman Smith or "Smitty" as some people in the book called him and now so do I! Smitty arrived in the ETO just a few weeks after the Hetzler Crew were shot down and killed. He was one of the few Co-Pilots that have written books and he became the PIC or head pilot on his last few missions...and amazingly he was only 20 years old!!!
At first, I wasn't so fond of the book. The overview and simplification of history I found annoying at the beginning, but I stuck with it and this turned out to be one of my favorite books. Smitty ended up flying 35 missions!! There weren't supposed to be many German fighters by this time in the war, but Smitty would definitely tell you that there were!!! Not just a few, but dozens and sometimes hundreds! The flak was always present. Smitty truly felt a lot of heat and it was a miracle that he lived through the war. I had so many favorite parts of this book, that I won't be able to cover them all, but a few do come to mind. The overriding back story in the whole book is Smitty's quest to lose his virginity...he comes close a few times and losing the "sure things" and bumbling some great opportunities with women in London due to his age and inexperience. Also, he points out how strange it was to feel so old as a combat veteran, but so young in regards to women! At one point, he finally meets an 18 proper English woman riding her horse and all  is going well and it looks like this will be IT, but...he woke up...turned out all to be a dream and even stranger, the young woman was "Queen Elizabeth"!! His brutal honesty about his lack of success with women gives the whole book added credibility and the story he tells of his combat experiences while unbelievable are no doubt completely true.
Another amazing part of the book to me was when he goes to another base to visit a pilot with whom he had graduated flight school--Paul Stout...his vivid description of the base reminded me of the Hetzler Crew's 458th bomber group's base, so I looked Stout up and sure enough, Smitty had visited Harold's base!! Sadly, Stout finished his tour of combat, but was killed later in a training exercise.
Smitty worked in TV and radio after the war and even eventually married a German woman. I did a quick search to see if Smitty were still alive and if so, what he is doing currently, but I haven't found anything yet.

Special Parenting

Originally posted on 8/28/11
Yesterday, we attended the wedding of Sue's cousin. Teddy was really excited about dressing up and going to the wedding. Of course, as soon as it started...he was ready to go! But, amazingly, he did really well. He went the full 45 minutes without even a slight outburst. A wedding for most parents is a normal event at some point. They expect their children will get married. For us, what would be a "happy" day for most parents would be an ecstatic, winning the lottery, reprieve from the governor, crying for joy, miracle before our eyes type of day. One of our greatest hopes for Teddy is that he would be able to get married someday and with our help be able to raise a family. We have no idea what the future holds in this regard, but he is a tall, handsome boy with an interest in girls...so maybe it isn't just a dream on our part. So yeah, watching the wedding was a melancholy sort of moment for me and I wasn't sure why until later when I thought about it. I actually heard a man the other day, a man that actually makes over $100k a year bragging that he didn't have to pay for his daughter's wedding, like he had gotten out of a burden. When you're a special needs parent though, you get a new perspective on the miracles in life that seem so mundane to so many people. If Teddy gets married, we won't be worrying about how much it costs!! For us it will be one of the ultimate victories in this long struggle. Same with college....I hear so many parents complain about paying for college, even parents with means, to me that is a champaign problem. Of course, it is easy for me to see and judge them for their lack of gratitude and I quite possibly don't understand "normal" parenting any better than they understand special parenting. All of this said, I would never trade with the "normal" parents. I would love to not have the stress and worry of being a special parent...but I have never for one second ever wanted to trade.

Speaking of understanding: Friday night I had a dream that we were at a Wal Mart with Teddy and another girl with special needs...they both ran out of the Wal Mart with fishing poles, didn't pay for them, ran across a busy street and started fishing in a pond. I caught up to them and I was furious in my dream and I didn't have the best reaction...yelling and poking the both of them with my finger (which I don't think I'd really do, but I have had reactions I would have liked to have changed in real life)...I just remember and will for the rest of my life, the complete look of shock on both of their faces...they had had such a joyous and natural response to seeing an opportunity, and they didn't understand that I was going to have to impose the real world upon their more perfect world. I was sad about it all day, but on the upside I actually put this dream to use last night...after we got home from the reception last night, Ted threw some cardboard in the toilet (luckily it didn't get flushed this time...last time that cost $150 bucks) I caught him before he had a chance to flush...he was certain that I would be angry and he was yelling to himself how stupid he was...but I just told him "no big deal lets figure out a way to get this cleaned up" and instead of an hour of chaos, he peacefully went to sleep a few minutes later.